My Vocation Story Part 4
Crisis? Who wants it anyway? Pero dumarating na lang siya… Sabi nga sa Book of Ecclesiasticus: “My son, if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yoursel for an ordeal.” (Ecc. 2:1) Haaay naku…! Kaya naman pala… Kaya naman pala dumarating ang pagsubok sa buhay ko at siguro marami pa ang darating! It is so sad to see your classmates one by one leaving the seminary. Then after some years seeing them already with their wives and kids… Masasaya! Parang nakakainggit! hehehe… But I did not regret in any way in my decision to give my life totally to Christ. Mahirap… pero masaya! Dumating ang matinding crisis sa buhay ko just these past years in my priestly ministry. Korek ka jan! Pari na ko… when I reflected on my life. Ano na ba ang nangyayari sa kin? I pledge to give myself totally to God but I’m keeping alot of attachments for myself! Material things, friendships… persons… a special someone? Yes! Nainlove ako? I would be a hypocrite if I will say no! At least narealize ko… aba! Tao rin pala ako! Nakakadama rin pala ako ng pag-ibig. At kung minsan nakakalimot sa sarili… Nakakalimutan kung sino ako! It is God’s grace that really saved my vocation. I confronted myself and asked: “Lord, mahal ba kita?” The answer i got is not from me but from Him: “Oo… MAHAL KITA!” I asked myself but it is God who answered. I realized that it is not a sin to love other people… but it would be an act of ingratitude to refuse a God who is offering His love… With that I decided. I made my fundamental option to accept His offer of love and follow Him more closely… My fear is… what if ever i will fail him again? I heard him whisper… “My love and grace is enough for you… fear not!” (and drama ko na! Konting tyaga na lang sa pagbabasa… conclusion na next time!)
